moose cakes' ''hubby'' and North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Un in Twitter Feud

http://www.thedailyrash.com/north-korea-dictator-kim-jung-un-and-president-obama-in-twitter-feud

President Obama and North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Un in Twitter Feud

By Mark Donahue

WASHINGTON – Late last night North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un took to his Twitter account and began a rash of disparaging taunts directed at President Barack Obama. After several weeks of nuclear threats from the young dictator, few were surprised that he would attempt to provoke the president with denigrating remarks on the Internet’s popular social network. It all began after midnight in Washington when Kim Jong-Un sent out three consecutive tweets:
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
Obama gave me neck massage & clip toenails b4 cooking me waffles 4 breakfast 2 day.
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
Obama is my concubine. After my bath he bring me slippers and comb my hair.
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
I make President Obama wash my car after he change oil and rotate tires. #POTUS
More than three hours passed before Jong-Un’s next tweet:  
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
Obama shoot basketball like fat girl with greasy hands. #rosieodonnell
Thirty minutes later the Twitter world exploded when President Obama responded to the Korean dictator with a tweet from his own Twitter account:
President Obama @barackobama
Chubby dictator Kim Jong-Un certainly has gall to disparage the obese + apparently he’s sexist.  #bullies #rosieodonnell
Within seconds Kim Jong-Un shot back with another tweet at President Obama:
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
Girls laugh at Obama who shoot basketball like sissy who pee in pants. #justsayin
For the next several minutes the Twitter battle was on. Millions around the world sat glued to their computer screen watching the first ever cyber-war between the leaders of the United States and North Korea in 140 characters or less.
President Obama @barackobama
@kimjongun How bout u & me shooting a game of hoops? Or r u 2 afraid? #NBA #hoops #bball
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama You make 2 out of 22 shots other day. What 2 b afraid of?
President Obama @barackobama
@kimjongun  I had an off day. Even Dennis Rodman had off days. @DennisRodman #NBA
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama Dennis Rodman wear make-up and has metal spike in nose. Still he never miss 18 shots. Even when drunk. #NBA @DennisRodman
President Obama @barackobama
@kimjongun  Just admit it, u r 2 afraid 2 shoot hoops with me. #POTUS
Kim Jong-un @dictator
@barackobama  I will play game of horse with u then ride u like a horse to Waffle House.
President Obama @barackobama
@kimjongun  I don’t understand Waffle House reference. #justsayin
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama Should I speak more slowly? I …. will …. ride ….. u ….. like…. horse …. 2 …. Waffle …. House.
President Obama @barackobama
@kimjongun  Very funny. Almost as funny as ur haircut, Kim. #supercuts
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama That’s Mr. Un to you, paper doll.
President Obama @barackobama
@kimjongun  LOL! Paper doll?
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama *looking around* Is there echo in here?
President Obama @barackobama
@kimjongun  Everything is just a big joke 2 u isn’t it? Nuclear war, oppressing ur people. All a big joke. #LMFAO
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama  We talking about Joe *foot n mouth* Biden now? #gaffe
President Obama @barackobama
@kimjongun  No we r not.
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama  Then I confuse. I thought you say big joke. #ROFLMAO
President Obama @barackobama
@kimjongun I guess that passes 4 humor in ur miserable little country.
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama  You may cook me more waffles b4 I obliterate ur country, Mr. Barry. #justsayin
President Obama @barackobama
@kimjongun I have sent war ships 2 ur country & will obliterate u back. May b u forget I killed Osama bin Laden? #OBL #POTUS #assasination
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama  Osama bin Laden was my bearded bitch. I will destroy ur war ships & make u water my lawn wearing dress. #OBL #dictator #landscaping
President Obama @barackobama
@kimjongun  I will not wear a dress 4 u. Do u have any last requests b4 I destroy u? #tranny #a-bomb
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama U will wear bonnet and sing North Korean lullaby when u exfoliate my face. Then I destroy u.
President Obama @barackobama
@kimjongun Gotta run, Kim. Florence Henderson singing at W.H. tonite. May b Dennis Rodman will come over 2 play with u again. #BradyBunch
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama I will push red button. When I push button Florence Henderson go boom! #mushroomcloud
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama If u bring corn dogs & pull me n rickshaw 2 cockfights I won’t push red button till next Tuesday. #diplomacy
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama  Hello?
Kim Jong-Un @dictator
@barackobama  Barry?
At this afternoon’s White House press briefing, Jay Carney said the administration’s main concern today was the gun control bill before congress and that he would not be responding to questions about Obama’s Twitter battle with Kim Jong-Un.

http://www.thedailyrash.com/al-sharptons-exclusive-interview-with-pope-francis

Al Sharpton Educates Pope Francis on Race, Sissies and Prison Showers

By Mark Donahue

VATICAN CITY – In a somewhat startling turn of events today, Reverend Al Sharpton managed to obtain approval from the Vatican to interview Pope Francis for PoliticsNation, the news show he hosts on MSNBC. Mr. Sharpton spoke with the new pope for several minutes inside the Papal Palace. Following is a transcript of their conversation:
AL SHARPTON: Welcome to my news show on MSNBC where I host, Mr. Pope.
POPE FRANCIS: Thank you, sir.
AL SHARPTON: You may call me Reverend.
POPE: Oh, you are a servant of the Lord?
AL SHARPTON: No defense, Mr. Pope, but in America it’s not polite to call an African American a servant.
POPE: People from all over the world serve Jesus Christ, my son.
AL SHARPTON: Well I can assure you, African Americans are paid a lot less for it than everyone else.
POPE: I see.
AL SHARPTON: As is the habit of popes down through the millenials, you were betoken to pick a new name to go with your erection. You chose yours from Saint Francis the Sissy.
POPE: Yes, I chose the name Francis in honor of St. Francis of Assisi.
AL SHARPTON: Is it true he was a fry cook?
POPE: I don’t know about that. He did found the Order of Friars Minor, more often called the Franciscans.
AL SHARPTON: Today it’s called San Francisco, the capital of California.
POPE: (Nods in a kindly manner)
AL SHARPTON: Did you choose a sissy in an attempt to reach out to the homosexual community?
POPE: Pardon?
AL SHARPTON: My producers tell me you have an open spine for gay marriage.
POPE: I’m sorry, but I don’t understand.
AL SHARPTON: Is it not true that when you played for the Argentine Cardinals you supported civilian unions?
POPE: As a Cardinal I recommended the church respect Argentina’s civil union laws, but I do not support gay marriage.
AL SHARPTON: Many in today’s modern world say gay rights are the civil rights issue of our time. Do you believe gay rights are more important than the rights of African Americans?
POPE: There are many gay African Americans are there not?
AL SHARPTON:  There could be. Are you imprying that a gay African American’s rights trumpet the rights of normal African Americans?
POPE: Jesus teaches us that everyone is a child of God. I do not doubt you are aware of this since you are a Reverend.
AL SHARPTON: Well, I don’t really know much about that. I mainly got in the business for the cash.
POPE: I see.
AL SHARPTON: When you were told you would be the next King of the Popes, what was that like?
POPE: It’s a tremendous honor to be chosen and I pray for the wisdom to understand and carry out God’s will for me.
AL SHARPTON: I’ll bet the other nominees are pretty pissed off, huh? Once you get a whiff of that cushion on the seat of power it’s like a drug, you gotta have more. I smelled it with my own nose when I was a presdinential canondate.
POPE: You were a candidate for president of the United States?
AL SHARPTON: Yup, sure was.
POPE: Oh my.
AL SHARPTON: You have announced that for the Holy Tuesday Massacre you will give a sermon at a prison where you plan to wash and kiss the feet of 12 jailhouse ingrates.
POPE: Yes, I will celebrate the Holy Thursday Mass at the juvenile detention center at Casal del Marmo.
AL SHARPTON: Just to give you a heads up, Pope, kissing prisoners and massaging their feet in the showers might be sending the wrong kind of message.
POPE: Washing of the feet is to commemorate Jesus’ gesture of humility towards his apostles on the night before he died.
AL SHARPTON:  I know from personalized experiences about the humidity in prison showers. And with a name like Francis you’re only asking for trouble. Just don’t be bending over to pick up any soap, if you know what I’m sayin’.
POPE: Yes, I see.
AL SHARPTON: We have time for the final question at the end of my interview. Do you predicate a time when the paper concave will nominate a transgender to be the King of the Popes?
POPE: If it be God’s will, my son.
AL SHARPTON: That’s a pretty good answer, Pope. On behalf of African Americans and MSNBC where I host my own news show, I thank you for guesting and taking the hard questions. And don’t forget to like me on my Facebook page.
POPE FRANCIS: You will be in my prayers, Reverend.
AL SHARPTON:  (looks into camera) This is African American news anchor with his own show on MSNBC, Reverend Al Sharpton, saying goodnight from inside the Vatigan where I just interviewed a pope.